ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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