You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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