i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
