I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
