i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
