Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
