I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
