Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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