This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
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