Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
