there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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