Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
