Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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