hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
