oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
