This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You're so nebulous sometimes
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You can't special order awesome
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
