I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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