Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
