Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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