My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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