I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
