This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
