Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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