I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
