There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
