I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
