you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
