...so i touched it.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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