Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize