I smell stomach acid.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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