it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
