He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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