My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I would ride that face into the sunset
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He has the fingertips of a God
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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