the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
