it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
