it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
