Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
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