For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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