He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
