careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
