u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
should my penis look like a turkey
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
