and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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