also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
