Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
