Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize