my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
