Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
