I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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