That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
your like the ambassador to my penis.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
