guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
