i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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