just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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