dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Church boner. Awkwardddd
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
