I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize