Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
