awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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