come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
