I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
