It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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