What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
