it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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