i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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