I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
