This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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