By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
