First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The beers last night were like the tears from god
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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