i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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