Where is the hickey?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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