when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
too bad you live with your parents still
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize