I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
