Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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