Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
