Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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