doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
