When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
