Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
