Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
