Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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