Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
